Recently, I had cause to spend an unhappy sixty minutes contemplating my own mortality. I had been summoned by telephone to the GP's surgery following some tests, and of course, between the call and the appointment, my mind, armed with all sorts of possibilities kindly supplied by NHS Direct, dwelt in the house of mortal terror. My future in that hour before I heard the words "Beh....niente! (oh....nothing!)" shrank to an imagined couple of years, a couple of months, a few weeks, a few days.
After I heard those words, my life grew and extended itself once more into a full four-score years and ten (that's inflation for you), and today I find myself celebrating what may or may not be mid-life. Plenty of people have had plenty of ruefully funny things to say about mid-life, and it's difficult to choose between them, so here's a selection to make my peers laugh...
"Middle age: when you want to see how long your car will last rather than how fast it will go." - Anonymous
"Middle age is when a guy keeps turning lights off for economic rather than romantic reasons."
- Lillian Carter
"Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock."
- Ronald Reagan
and, finally, my personal favourite...
"Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it."
Happy Monday! (And don't do anything I wouldn't do!)