Like all families with children, and plenty without, mornings in the house on The Rock are pretty tightly scheduled. Everyone has their part to play, and if someone misses his cue there's a problem, and it's usually Mama's. Problem.
In those two short hours between the children stumbling out of their beds and AJ blowing kisses to his Mama from his maestra's side, the breadth of Mama's versatility is breathtaking (at least to herself). Could her former employers really have understood just how many roles she is capable of performing? And all for just bed and board. A bargain.
Go on, be a fly on the wall...
"Morning guys! Time to wake up now!" -- Early Morning Wake-Up Call
"AJ, you can't wear those trousers - they're two sizes too small and they're pink." -- Sartorial Advisor
"Ouch! Mama kiss better." -- Mystical Healer
"Oh, yes, what a lovely picture you made yesterday. It's very...black." -- Art Critic
"Now which DVD would you like to watch this morning?" -- Entertainments Manager
"No, not that DVD. It's Mama's." -- Film Censor
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Personal Hygiene Consultant
"Get down off those curtains!" -- Kitten Wrangler
"I want juice, not milk!" -- Bar Tender
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Cleaning Lady
"Breakfast!" -- Short Order Cook
"Darling, where's that thingummyjig I had yesterday?" -- Miraculous Finder of Miscellaneous Objects
"Does anybody know where that postcard of Sandend is?" -- Scorpion-catcher
"Ouch, ouch. OUCH!!!" -- Hairdresser
"Now, guys, stop screaming at each other! Who had the scissors first?" -- Peacekeeper
"Open wide and say 'aaaah'. Please." -- Dental Hygienist
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Laundress
"Everyone out of the door and turn left. Please." Pathfinder and Drill Sergeant
"What do you mean you don't want to walk? Walking's good for you!" -- Fitness Consultant
"Oh do stop dawdling! I'm sure the fire salamander will still be here when we come back." -- Time-keeper and Teller of Little White Lies
"Stop! Look right, look left, look right again. All clear? Now you can cross." -- Last Bastion of the Tufty Club
"All aboard the Ninky-Nonk*!" -- Chauffeur and Cultural Reinforcer
"Say grazie to the crossing guard!" -- Life Coach
"Say buongiorno to the maestra!" -- Language Tutor
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Olympic 100-metre Sprinter
Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007, 2008. All rights reserved. Please ask first.