Like all families with children, and plenty without, mornings in the house on The Rock are pretty tightly scheduled. Everyone has their part to play, and if someone misses his cue there's a problem, and it's usually Mama's. Problem.
In those two short hours between the children stumbling out of their beds and AJ blowing kisses to his Mama from his maestra's side, the breadth of Mama's versatility is breathtaking (at least to herself). Could her former employers really have understood just how many roles she is capable of performing? And all for just bed and board. A bargain.
Go on, be a fly on the wall...
"Morning guys! Time to wake up now!" -- Early Morning Wake-Up Call
"AJ, you can't wear those trousers - they're two sizes too small and they're pink." -- Sartorial Advisor
"Ouch! Mama kiss better." -- Mystical Healer
"Oh, yes, what a lovely picture you made yesterday. It's very...black." -- Art Critic
"Now which DVD would you like to watch this morning?" -- Entertainments Manager
"No, not that DVD. It's Mama's." -- Film Censor
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Personal Hygiene Consultant
"Get down off those curtains!" -- Kitten Wrangler
"I want juice, not milk!" -- Bar Tender
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Cleaning Lady
"Breakfast!" -- Short Order Cook
"Darling, where's that thingummyjig I had yesterday?" -- Miraculous Finder of Miscellaneous Objects
"Does anybody know where that postcard of Sandend is?" -- Scorpion-catcher
"Ouch, ouch. OUCH!!!" -- Hairdresser
"Now, guys, stop screaming at each other! Who had the scissors first?" -- Peacekeeper
"Open wide and say 'aaaah'. Please." -- Dental Hygienist
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Laundress
"Everyone out of the door and turn left. Please." Pathfinder and Drill Sergeant
"What do you mean you don't want to walk? Walking's good for you!" -- Fitness Consultant
"Oh do stop dawdling! I'm sure the fire salamander will still be here when we come back." -- Time-keeper and Teller of Little White Lies
"Stop! Look right, look left, look right again. All clear? Now you can cross." -- Last Bastion of the Tufty Club
"All aboard the Ninky-Nonk*!" -- Chauffeur and Cultural Reinforcer
"Say grazie to the crossing guard!" -- Life Coach
"Say buongiorno to the maestra!" -- Language Tutor
"Mama, it's a stinker!" -- Olympic 100-metre Sprinter
You've excelled yourself this morning - absolutely brilliant!!!!!
Sure there has to be a few more hats during the rest of the day, too.
Another excellent blog episode, it really brings back memories of my childhood. My mum never had a bean for all her hard work bringing up ELEVEN children in wartime, just bed and board. I thought those days had long gone.
Love it! V. funny.
Too funny!! Just think if you got paid for wearing all those hats at the same time! You'd look funny but you'd be rich! LOL
Thanks for visiting on my BAtW day! :)
Recognise this scenario(just no scorpions)! LOL
Great writing and very funny! I hope you'll have some input on our Dice Man film.
Louise, Thank you very much for your wonderful comments on my blog. The song "Be Thou My Vision" is sung by the MacDonald Family Singers. Are you a Christian?
I'm at work when all this goes down in my house (my mom watches my daughter), but she always calls me right after the child has been safely deposited to tell me all about it, lol. LOVED your post!
Thanks for your birthday wishes yesterday. I'll stop by again!
:-) I can hear myself. Although only one of my two children are verbal yet the youngest are very capable of telling his wishes and wish-nots.
Just don't forget to say something nice and calm in between.
What a list! I especially like "ouch ouch OUCH!(hairdresser)"
That's me and my daughter *every* morning!
:) Have a great day!
You've captured the morning experience and the job description of "mother" perfectly! Even for mothers whose kids stay at home with them it's like this.
I love the time keeper and teller of little white lies.
Definitely relate to that one. :)
I'll come back and check out more later. I want to go to Italy. It's a dream.
Joy from Texas
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my, this too is my life, except I'm past the "stinkers" since my kids are 8, 14 and 15:) I'm 48 by the way. Nice to meet someone who had kids later like me. I don't feel older--I think they keep me young!
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