Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007-2013. Please give credit where credit is due.

Tuesday 9 October 2007

Not breast-feeding

October 9, 2007 : Twenty-one degrees. Bright sunshine but with a little whisper of autumn in the air. Something to do with the falling leaves, perhaps.

After a week of empirical study in which B spent most of her time either crying or biting me in a rage, here are some tips on what to do when trying to stop breast-feeding your 1 year + .

Go cold turkey; then you can experience one last time that wonderful hyper-engorged feeling

Wait until she has a cough so that her throat’s like sandpaper; then she’ll be too preoccupied with rejecting cough mixture to worry that she’s no longer being fed

Do it when her gums look like the Dolomites with new molars making their presence felt; you’ll be able to check teething progress every time she yells for the breast

Take a bus journey of 30 minutes or more at what would have been feeding time; her screaming will drown out the dross technopop they play, and the other passengers will have someone to stare at

Wait until you have house-guests and you can spread the nighttime no-sleep misery even further.

Make sure you can tick each point for a truly unforgettable breast-feeding cessation experience.

Poor B.

1 comment:

Gervy said...

Poor L, actually! You are heroic.

In London we watched a Channel 5 doco on women who would not stop breastfeeding... one woman was still feeding her 7 year old daughter. Gross.

Apparently the mean age for weaning, globally, is 4.

That's it for my breastfeeding patter.

Tuesday 9 October 2007

Not breast-feeding

October 9, 2007 : Twenty-one degrees. Bright sunshine but with a little whisper of autumn in the air. Something to do with the falling leaves, perhaps.

After a week of empirical study in which B spent most of her time either crying or biting me in a rage, here are some tips on what to do when trying to stop breast-feeding your 1 year + .

Go cold turkey; then you can experience one last time that wonderful hyper-engorged feeling

Wait until she has a cough so that her throat’s like sandpaper; then she’ll be too preoccupied with rejecting cough mixture to worry that she’s no longer being fed

Do it when her gums look like the Dolomites with new molars making their presence felt; you’ll be able to check teething progress every time she yells for the breast

Take a bus journey of 30 minutes or more at what would have been feeding time; her screaming will drown out the dross technopop they play, and the other passengers will have someone to stare at

Wait until you have house-guests and you can spread the nighttime no-sleep misery even further.

Make sure you can tick each point for a truly unforgettable breast-feeding cessation experience.

Poor B.

1 comment:

Gervy said...

Poor L, actually! You are heroic.

In London we watched a Channel 5 doco on women who would not stop breastfeeding... one woman was still feeding her 7 year old daughter. Gross.

Apparently the mean age for weaning, globally, is 4.

That's it for my breastfeeding patter.