Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007-2013. Please give credit where credit is due.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

A distinguished guest

Four degrees at 10am. Grey and drizzly.

I know a woman who always has a sour, disapproving look on her face. Rain or shine...the look is sour. As if she smells something that disagrees with her. As if life has given her a bitter taste in her mouth that won't go away despite any amount of mouthwash. As if, forty years ago on her wedding night her happily-ever-after farted under the quilt, she wrinkled up her delicate virgin's nose and at that moment the wind changed. My father would refer to it as a 'face like a wet week', and we all know what that means right now.

The reason I mention this vexation to the spirit is that the cats of Carmine are this week wearing the self-same expression with whiskers on. They're crowded on the pantry windowsill craning their fluffy little necks to catch a glimpse of something they definitely don't approve of. Wherever I go, I'm preceeded by hissing and growling. Wherever I look there are cats' tails like toilet brushes hanging from the trees, wedged under bramble bushes, dangling from rooftops.

In Cannobio, there is chattering among the gossips in Guardian Angel Square and in the corridors of the scuola materna, and new vocabulary crashes over me at two-minute intervals like verbal labour contractions, as I pass along the town's charming medieval streets. Words like : morde? (vt. does she bite?); guinzaglio (nm. lead); scooper del pooper (n. as in 'you'll be needing one'); and pulce (nf. flea - normally only heard in the plural - as in 'you won't be needing them').


Worst of all, the kitten's place on the sofa as celebrated recently (click here) has been usurped by something altogether more smelly, which snores while I'm trying to read and/or write and gradually inches its way onto my lap as the evening progresses. And the kitten's looking at me like Judas is my second name.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am honoured this week to have Lady Diana as my houseguest. Lady Diana, I'm sure you've guessed is a dog, a 10-year-old German shepherd to be exact. Her name is pronounced the Italian way - Deeeeeanna, and no, she's not staying (somebody get that hard fact through to the cats).

Diana knows Carmine intimately. Her padrone, Bruno, was one of the first friends we made here apart from immediate neighbours and professional colleagues. He made us laugh with his unlikely stories of the enormous fish he and his brothers caught and grilled, the gargantuan wild boar they wrestled to the ground with their bare hands and ate in a single day of culinary debauchery, or the Baroque feasts with which they buckled the knees of the kitchen table back home in Sardinia. He was also always prepared to don a pair of overalls and help us out with a particularly nasty bit of d-i-y plastering, window-mounting or demolition if he dropped in to find us struggling pathetically (in return for one of M's famous Sunday lunches and a luscious bone for Diana).

This week, Bruno is in hospital (good luck, dude), and Her Royal Highness is residing in Sasso Carmine.

As I was saying, Diana is very much at home here, and trots up and down the blessed hill with me and the children (oh yes, the mulattiera's still there, folks, despite the best efforts of the weather to wash it away, click here) as if she didn't really live in an apartment in a place that's named after a brand of moped. She keeps her eye on the stick-in-flight, even when surrounded by gaily clucking chickens, as if gaily clucking chickens were her daily companions. And despite all the rumpus among the feline population, she continues calmly eating her food even though Trouble-the-Intrepid (click here) has also got his nose in the bowl.

Diana is the first dog I've ever had in my care, and despite wishing for one recently (click here), and despite Diana's excellent training and gentle disposition, I think I won't be signing up at the dog refuge after all.

And you know why? It's not the dog hairs on the sofa. Or the scattering of heart-shaped doggy chow on the kitchen floor. Or the fact that I have to carry the cats through the kitchen, spitting and scratching, to get them to where they want to be in the house. Or even the popping in and out of the front door like a demented weather man to see if the whining means she wants to go pee-pee.

No.

It's simple really. You know, not in a million years would I be able to bring myself to go to the local hardware store and ask for a 'scooper del pooper' : Signor Albertella (of whom more shortly) would know for sure I'd finally cracked! And besides, I think Babel Fish Translations made it up.

Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007, 2008, 2009. All rights reserved. Please ask first.

18 comments:

ladyfi said...

Ha ha!

Actually, all you need are some doggie bags.. You put your hand in them, pick up poo, invert bag, tie knot and throw away.

No embarrassing poop le scooper!

Dave King said...

My sympathies. What about a trowel?

Bev said...

You can't be serious!!!!! Ladyfi has the most modern idea to give to you...Dave has the old fashioned trowel...and you have kids; surely one of them has a toy spade they are willing to give up!!!!! You never even have to step foot in the store. The doggie refuge awaits you.

Caution Flag said...

DON'T go with Ladyfi's idea. That's what we do and I will feel soiled for the rest of my life because of it. In our area we can hire someone to clean up after our pets. Rediculous, isn't it?

Debbie said...

That is one of the many reasons I am not a dog owner. Cats just don't need that kind of attention.

Joy in the Burbs... said...

My neighbor carries one of those pooper scooper things around on her dog walks. I just use a doggie bags too. It's done and over with. The scooper thing would have to be washed after use. Yuck!
Libby our Miniature Schnauzer does not shed, so you wouldn't have to worry about dog hair on your sofa. Not so sure about Schnauzers and cats though.

Joy

Vanessa said...

I too would like to join the great pooper scooper debate by reminding you, darling, that you live in the country, so if you're smart and encourage the dog to be discreet you don't need to even think of scooping when she's done pooping...know what I mean?

Katy B said...

LOL!

Brenda said...

And, that, that is why I don't have a dog. Otherwise I think they make wonderful pets!

Poor kittys!

Aren O. Týr said...

A wise choice, cats all the way :-)

I like the way they are (nearly) always honest, and also make no effort to hide their displeasure. It gives them an integrity as you know that when they are happy, they probably genuinely are.

Or, even if they are scheming in a rather Machiavellian type fashion, you cannot be help respect their sneaky intelligence.

And yes, they look after themselves, and they usually accommodate you around their life, rather than the other way round :-)

Ahh, I miss my feline friend of 18 years, he was a very special cat...

BPOTW said...

You're doing a wonderful thing and I do hope your cats forgive you. Cat wrath can be bad ;)

Thanks for sharing with BPOTW!

karin said...

That was an entertaining read! I enjoyed it!

Anonymous said...

This is a brilliant bit of descriptive writing. Don't forget the book.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=10][img]http://s03.radikal.ru/i176/0912/57/a8e634dad754.jpg[/img][/url]

[size=6]Propranolol tablet[/size]
[size=5]What is this medicine?[/size]
[b]PROPRANOLOL[/b] is a beta-blocker. Beta-blockers crop the workload on the basic nature and boost it to stress more regularly. This drug is hand-me-down to investigate high blood sway, to put down irregular heart rhythms (arrhythmias) and to disencumber box soreness caused by angina. It may also be advantageous after a heart attack. This cure-all is also utilized to hinder migraine headaches, abate uncontrollable shaking (tremors), and help unfluctuating problems akin to the thyroid gland and adrenal gland.
What should I mention my health mindfulness provider beforehand I take this medicine?
[u]They need to identify if you be experiencing any of these conditions:[/u]

circulation problems or blood receptacle contagion
diabetes
history of bravery attack or basic nature plague, vasospastic angina
kidney bug
liver infection
lung or breathing illness, like asthma or emphysema
pheochromocytoma
slow kindliness proportion rank
thyroid disease
an curious or allergic answer to propranolol, other beta-blockers, medicines, foods, dyes, or preservatives
pregnant or fatiguing to pick up in the pudding club
breast-feeding

[IMG]http://s52.radikal.ru/i135/0912/a3/82e1520c703c.jpg[/IMG]
[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=10][img]http://s41.radikal.ru/i093/0912/07/bb7d0ff01cc8.jpg[/img][/url]































[url=http://barborazychova.com/members/buyInderal.aspx]inderal internetinderal inderal[/url]
inderal only online prescription
generic Inderal discount

[url=http://community.livinglakecountry.com/members/buyInderal.aspx]propranolol tabletscomprar inderal[/url]
next day delivery Inderal
buy Inderal ultram

[url=http://coredeveloper.net/members/buyInderal.aspx]buy inderal online cheapinderal toronto[/url]
Inderal with doctor consult
overnight delivery of Inderal

[url=http://www.stacyrandolph.com/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]inderal salepropranolol generic[/url]
Inderal no dr contact
purchase Inderal

[url=http://xna-uk.net/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]compra inderaldanger stoping inderal[/url]
Inderal shipped on saturday
Inderal discount fedex no prescription

[url=https://www.nbhope.org/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]inderal salespropranolol diabetes[/url]
Inderal 100 mg overnight
buy nextday Inderal cash on deliver cod

[url=http://fellowbaseballnuts.com/members/buyInderal.aspx]inderal ukonline buy inderal prescription[/url]
how to buy Inderal online without prescription
purchase Inderal uk delivery&

[url=http://fortheloveofthecode.com/members/onlineInderal.aspx]elena pope and propranololinderal side effects[/url]
buy Inderal overnight delivery
order Inderal cod

[url=http://healingstartswithus.net/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]buy propranololpropranolol half life[/url]
cheap Inderal cod saturday delivery
cheap Inderal delivery fedex

[url=http://mcfedries.com/cs/members/onlineInderal.aspx]compra inderalinderal wirkung[/url]
cheap Inderal
Inderal overnight no prescription

Anonymous said...

Tiffany style lamps can add color and elegance [B][URL=http://www.etiffanystore.com]tiffany rings[/URL][/B] to your home. Many people love the colors of a Tiffany [B]tiffany[/B] lamp and they can add a distinct flair to any room. The drabbest room [U][B]tiffany engagement rings[/U][/B] can become very colorful and exciting with the right [B]tiffany jewelry[/B] Tiffany lamp. You can get a great lamp if you know what you are looking for and know the difference between [U][B]pandora[/U][/B] a true Tiffany lamp and a reproduction.

Tiffany style lamps [B]tiffany rings[/B] are known for their stained glass shade and this is where you can get all of the [B]pandora jewelry[/B] beautiful colors when you turn it on. There are [U]pandora bracelet[/U] a variety of colors of shade to choose from and there are many different sizes of lamps to [U]tiffany pendants[/U] choose from. If you are purchasing a reproduction you will have many [B][URL=http://www.etiffanystore.com]tiffany[/URL][/B] choices at your fingertips. If you are looking for an original Tiffany style lamps, you may find that this can be a [B]tiffany charms[/B] bigger task and you may not be able to find all of the pieces [U][B]tiffany bracelets[/U][/B] that you need.

The original Tiffany style lamps are a highly [U][B]tiffany co[/U][/B] sought after lamp and many of the lamps that are still in circulation [B]tiffany earrings[/B] have been placed in museums. This can make it difficult to [U]tiffany engagement rings[/U] find a lamp that is available for sale and you may [U][B]tiffany bracelets[/U][/B] have to search all over the internet to find the lamp [B]pandora bracelet[/B] you are looking for. Since the lamps were only made for about 20 years, there are not many [U]tiffany[/U] of the originals left and this can make it hard to find the [U][B]tiffany jewelry[/U][/B] exact lamp of your dreams. There are many reproductions that are out there that are crafted [B]tiffany jewelry[/B] exactly the same as the original Tiffany and this can allow you to have a great piece in your [B]tiffany charms[/B] home, but it will not be an original.


Tiffany style lamps are something that will always [U]pandora[/U] be popular. If you want one of these beautiful pieces, you will [U][B]pandora jewelry[/U][/B] want to check out all of your resources and [U]tiffany co[/U] then make a good decision. You will be able to have a great [B]tiffany bracelets[/B] lamp in your home and even if you want an original, you may [B][URL=http://www.pandoraforyou.com]pandora bracelets[/URL][/B] be able to find a reproduction that will help you to [U][B]tiffany jewelry[/U][/B] get exactly what you want.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://forum.ea.com/eaforum/posts/list/0/1771068.page]Buy Cheap Lipitor Online[/url]
http://forum.ea.com/eaforum/posts/list/0/1771068.page

Anonymous said...

http://blogyournight.com/mydadlovesviagra/
http://ilovezebras.ecosapiens.ro/
http://ifelldownthestairs.blogujem.com/
http://strassenkinder.de/charlieistryingtotalk/
http://mymomlovesviagra.123blogme.com/

Anonymous said...

nice stuff here, very very nice

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

A distinguished guest

Four degrees at 10am. Grey and drizzly.

I know a woman who always has a sour, disapproving look on her face. Rain or shine...the look is sour. As if she smells something that disagrees with her. As if life has given her a bitter taste in her mouth that won't go away despite any amount of mouthwash. As if, forty years ago on her wedding night her happily-ever-after farted under the quilt, she wrinkled up her delicate virgin's nose and at that moment the wind changed. My father would refer to it as a 'face like a wet week', and we all know what that means right now.

The reason I mention this vexation to the spirit is that the cats of Carmine are this week wearing the self-same expression with whiskers on. They're crowded on the pantry windowsill craning their fluffy little necks to catch a glimpse of something they definitely don't approve of. Wherever I go, I'm preceeded by hissing and growling. Wherever I look there are cats' tails like toilet brushes hanging from the trees, wedged under bramble bushes, dangling from rooftops.

In Cannobio, there is chattering among the gossips in Guardian Angel Square and in the corridors of the scuola materna, and new vocabulary crashes over me at two-minute intervals like verbal labour contractions, as I pass along the town's charming medieval streets. Words like : morde? (vt. does she bite?); guinzaglio (nm. lead); scooper del pooper (n. as in 'you'll be needing one'); and pulce (nf. flea - normally only heard in the plural - as in 'you won't be needing them').


Worst of all, the kitten's place on the sofa as celebrated recently (click here) has been usurped by something altogether more smelly, which snores while I'm trying to read and/or write and gradually inches its way onto my lap as the evening progresses. And the kitten's looking at me like Judas is my second name.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am honoured this week to have Lady Diana as my houseguest. Lady Diana, I'm sure you've guessed is a dog, a 10-year-old German shepherd to be exact. Her name is pronounced the Italian way - Deeeeeanna, and no, she's not staying (somebody get that hard fact through to the cats).

Diana knows Carmine intimately. Her padrone, Bruno, was one of the first friends we made here apart from immediate neighbours and professional colleagues. He made us laugh with his unlikely stories of the enormous fish he and his brothers caught and grilled, the gargantuan wild boar they wrestled to the ground with their bare hands and ate in a single day of culinary debauchery, or the Baroque feasts with which they buckled the knees of the kitchen table back home in Sardinia. He was also always prepared to don a pair of overalls and help us out with a particularly nasty bit of d-i-y plastering, window-mounting or demolition if he dropped in to find us struggling pathetically (in return for one of M's famous Sunday lunches and a luscious bone for Diana).

This week, Bruno is in hospital (good luck, dude), and Her Royal Highness is residing in Sasso Carmine.

As I was saying, Diana is very much at home here, and trots up and down the blessed hill with me and the children (oh yes, the mulattiera's still there, folks, despite the best efforts of the weather to wash it away, click here) as if she didn't really live in an apartment in a place that's named after a brand of moped. She keeps her eye on the stick-in-flight, even when surrounded by gaily clucking chickens, as if gaily clucking chickens were her daily companions. And despite all the rumpus among the feline population, she continues calmly eating her food even though Trouble-the-Intrepid (click here) has also got his nose in the bowl.

Diana is the first dog I've ever had in my care, and despite wishing for one recently (click here), and despite Diana's excellent training and gentle disposition, I think I won't be signing up at the dog refuge after all.

And you know why? It's not the dog hairs on the sofa. Or the scattering of heart-shaped doggy chow on the kitchen floor. Or the fact that I have to carry the cats through the kitchen, spitting and scratching, to get them to where they want to be in the house. Or even the popping in and out of the front door like a demented weather man to see if the whining means she wants to go pee-pee.

No.

It's simple really. You know, not in a million years would I be able to bring myself to go to the local hardware store and ask for a 'scooper del pooper' : Signor Albertella (of whom more shortly) would know for sure I'd finally cracked! And besides, I think Babel Fish Translations made it up.

Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007, 2008, 2009. All rights reserved. Please ask first.

18 comments:

ladyfi said...

Ha ha!

Actually, all you need are some doggie bags.. You put your hand in them, pick up poo, invert bag, tie knot and throw away.

No embarrassing poop le scooper!

Dave King said...

My sympathies. What about a trowel?

Bev said...

You can't be serious!!!!! Ladyfi has the most modern idea to give to you...Dave has the old fashioned trowel...and you have kids; surely one of them has a toy spade they are willing to give up!!!!! You never even have to step foot in the store. The doggie refuge awaits you.

Caution Flag said...

DON'T go with Ladyfi's idea. That's what we do and I will feel soiled for the rest of my life because of it. In our area we can hire someone to clean up after our pets. Rediculous, isn't it?

Debbie said...

That is one of the many reasons I am not a dog owner. Cats just don't need that kind of attention.

Joy in the Burbs... said...

My neighbor carries one of those pooper scooper things around on her dog walks. I just use a doggie bags too. It's done and over with. The scooper thing would have to be washed after use. Yuck!
Libby our Miniature Schnauzer does not shed, so you wouldn't have to worry about dog hair on your sofa. Not so sure about Schnauzers and cats though.

Joy

Vanessa said...

I too would like to join the great pooper scooper debate by reminding you, darling, that you live in the country, so if you're smart and encourage the dog to be discreet you don't need to even think of scooping when she's done pooping...know what I mean?

Katy B said...

LOL!

Brenda said...

And, that, that is why I don't have a dog. Otherwise I think they make wonderful pets!

Poor kittys!

Aren O. Týr said...

A wise choice, cats all the way :-)

I like the way they are (nearly) always honest, and also make no effort to hide their displeasure. It gives them an integrity as you know that when they are happy, they probably genuinely are.

Or, even if they are scheming in a rather Machiavellian type fashion, you cannot be help respect their sneaky intelligence.

And yes, they look after themselves, and they usually accommodate you around their life, rather than the other way round :-)

Ahh, I miss my feline friend of 18 years, he was a very special cat...

BPOTW said...

You're doing a wonderful thing and I do hope your cats forgive you. Cat wrath can be bad ;)

Thanks for sharing with BPOTW!

karin said...

That was an entertaining read! I enjoyed it!

Anonymous said...

This is a brilliant bit of descriptive writing. Don't forget the book.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=10][img]http://s03.radikal.ru/i176/0912/57/a8e634dad754.jpg[/img][/url]

[size=6]Propranolol tablet[/size]
[size=5]What is this medicine?[/size]
[b]PROPRANOLOL[/b] is a beta-blocker. Beta-blockers crop the workload on the basic nature and boost it to stress more regularly. This drug is hand-me-down to investigate high blood sway, to put down irregular heart rhythms (arrhythmias) and to disencumber box soreness caused by angina. It may also be advantageous after a heart attack. This cure-all is also utilized to hinder migraine headaches, abate uncontrollable shaking (tremors), and help unfluctuating problems akin to the thyroid gland and adrenal gland.
What should I mention my health mindfulness provider beforehand I take this medicine?
[u]They need to identify if you be experiencing any of these conditions:[/u]

circulation problems or blood receptacle contagion
diabetes
history of bravery attack or basic nature plague, vasospastic angina
kidney bug
liver infection
lung or breathing illness, like asthma or emphysema
pheochromocytoma
slow kindliness proportion rank
thyroid disease
an curious or allergic answer to propranolol, other beta-blockers, medicines, foods, dyes, or preservatives
pregnant or fatiguing to pick up in the pudding club
breast-feeding

[IMG]http://s52.radikal.ru/i135/0912/a3/82e1520c703c.jpg[/IMG]
[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=10][img]http://s41.radikal.ru/i093/0912/07/bb7d0ff01cc8.jpg[/img][/url]































[url=http://barborazychova.com/members/buyInderal.aspx]inderal internetinderal inderal[/url]
inderal only online prescription
generic Inderal discount

[url=http://community.livinglakecountry.com/members/buyInderal.aspx]propranolol tabletscomprar inderal[/url]
next day delivery Inderal
buy Inderal ultram

[url=http://coredeveloper.net/members/buyInderal.aspx]buy inderal online cheapinderal toronto[/url]
Inderal with doctor consult
overnight delivery of Inderal

[url=http://www.stacyrandolph.com/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]inderal salepropranolol generic[/url]
Inderal no dr contact
purchase Inderal

[url=http://xna-uk.net/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]compra inderaldanger stoping inderal[/url]
Inderal shipped on saturday
Inderal discount fedex no prescription

[url=https://www.nbhope.org/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]inderal salespropranolol diabetes[/url]
Inderal 100 mg overnight
buy nextday Inderal cash on deliver cod

[url=http://fellowbaseballnuts.com/members/buyInderal.aspx]inderal ukonline buy inderal prescription[/url]
how to buy Inderal online without prescription
purchase Inderal uk delivery&

[url=http://fortheloveofthecode.com/members/onlineInderal.aspx]elena pope and propranololinderal side effects[/url]
buy Inderal overnight delivery
order Inderal cod

[url=http://healingstartswithus.net/members/buyonlineInderal.aspx]buy propranololpropranolol half life[/url]
cheap Inderal cod saturday delivery
cheap Inderal delivery fedex

[url=http://mcfedries.com/cs/members/onlineInderal.aspx]compra inderalinderal wirkung[/url]
cheap Inderal
Inderal overnight no prescription

Anonymous said...

Tiffany style lamps can add color and elegance [B][URL=http://www.etiffanystore.com]tiffany rings[/URL][/B] to your home. Many people love the colors of a Tiffany [B]tiffany[/B] lamp and they can add a distinct flair to any room. The drabbest room [U][B]tiffany engagement rings[/U][/B] can become very colorful and exciting with the right [B]tiffany jewelry[/B] Tiffany lamp. You can get a great lamp if you know what you are looking for and know the difference between [U][B]pandora[/U][/B] a true Tiffany lamp and a reproduction.

Tiffany style lamps [B]tiffany rings[/B] are known for their stained glass shade and this is where you can get all of the [B]pandora jewelry[/B] beautiful colors when you turn it on. There are [U]pandora bracelet[/U] a variety of colors of shade to choose from and there are many different sizes of lamps to [U]tiffany pendants[/U] choose from. If you are purchasing a reproduction you will have many [B][URL=http://www.etiffanystore.com]tiffany[/URL][/B] choices at your fingertips. If you are looking for an original Tiffany style lamps, you may find that this can be a [B]tiffany charms[/B] bigger task and you may not be able to find all of the pieces [U][B]tiffany bracelets[/U][/B] that you need.

The original Tiffany style lamps are a highly [U][B]tiffany co[/U][/B] sought after lamp and many of the lamps that are still in circulation [B]tiffany earrings[/B] have been placed in museums. This can make it difficult to [U]tiffany engagement rings[/U] find a lamp that is available for sale and you may [U][B]tiffany bracelets[/U][/B] have to search all over the internet to find the lamp [B]pandora bracelet[/B] you are looking for. Since the lamps were only made for about 20 years, there are not many [U]tiffany[/U] of the originals left and this can make it hard to find the [U][B]tiffany jewelry[/U][/B] exact lamp of your dreams. There are many reproductions that are out there that are crafted [B]tiffany jewelry[/B] exactly the same as the original Tiffany and this can allow you to have a great piece in your [B]tiffany charms[/B] home, but it will not be an original.


Tiffany style lamps are something that will always [U]pandora[/U] be popular. If you want one of these beautiful pieces, you will [U][B]pandora jewelry[/U][/B] want to check out all of your resources and [U]tiffany co[/U] then make a good decision. You will be able to have a great [B]tiffany bracelets[/B] lamp in your home and even if you want an original, you may [B][URL=http://www.pandoraforyou.com]pandora bracelets[/URL][/B] be able to find a reproduction that will help you to [U][B]tiffany jewelry[/U][/B] get exactly what you want.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://forum.ea.com/eaforum/posts/list/0/1771068.page]Buy Cheap Lipitor Online[/url]
http://forum.ea.com/eaforum/posts/list/0/1771068.page

Anonymous said...

http://blogyournight.com/mydadlovesviagra/
http://ilovezebras.ecosapiens.ro/
http://ifelldownthestairs.blogujem.com/
http://strassenkinder.de/charlieistryingtotalk/
http://mymomlovesviagra.123blogme.com/

Anonymous said...

nice stuff here, very very nice