Plant pot problem

Twelve degrees at 8am. Blue skies with thin veils of mist over the lake and Lombardy.

As you must know by now Carmine sits on an outcrop of rock looking east towards Lombardy across Lago Maggiore. My most frequent lament is that there is no road big enough or even enough for motor vehicles. So what comes up usually doesn't go down again.

When we first took over this house it was full of the previous owners' possessions. This included furniture and pictures, cooking implements and tools. Straw-filled mattresses, handmade crockery, eiderdowns and quilts. A chest of drawers and a linen chest were full of handmade bedlinen, tablecloths, a few clothes - all put away interleaved with soaps and lavender so that even after a decade undisturbed you could use anything straight out of the drawer.

Most things we found here we've done our best to preserve. And this includes objects we like and some we don't. And some we positively hate.

Among the treasures we found were four enormous reconstituted concrete planters. There are a number of them dotted around people's gardens and terraces in Carmine - someone at some point must have been offered a job lot and somehow got them up here.

How they got them up here is a mystery, though. It takes two big men to shift them, even when they're empty. So much physical effort for so little beauty!

And here's your problem for today. I want these ugly-wugly 1970s vexations-to-my-spirit out of my life. For good. I can't carry them down and take them to the dump because I can't carry them. I can't smash them to smithereens and bury the pieces because they're indestructible. I took a sledge hammer to this one last year and despite my best fair-ground swings left not so much as a dent on it. I can't burn them because they're fire retardant.

I'd welcome your suggestions on how to dispose of these appalling objects once and for all.