Yes, this is my third attempt at potty-training my daughter, and I'm hoping the current knicker festival is going to tip us over the edge into success.
We've got all sorts of knickers - blue, green, red, white, yellow and of course pink, pink, pink. Blue-and-pink ones, pinks-and-red ones, white-and-blue ones, pink-and-pink ones. There are dotted ones, spotted ones, striped ones and frilly ones. Knickers with butterflies, with flowers, with little bows, knickers with ice-creams and knickers with dinosaurs (no wait, those are AJ's).
And we are experimenting with getting them on and off, backwards, forwards, on our heads, arms and feet. Sometimes several pairs at once. We wear them with big woolly socks, with Thomas slippers, with blue wellies and sparkly pink wellies. And we are learning to drop them quickly and smoothly before settling on the potty (preferably). And pull them up at the close of business (preferably).
Teddy is wearing them. So is dolly. So is rabbit. And so are Action Man and Spider Man, on whom they look more like streaming Tuareg robes than undies. The toys take tea wearing them. They ride around in the dolly pram wearing them. Sometimes they even find their way to the car and thence to kindergarten (at least they're clean...ish) wearing them. And the favourite book of the assembled company of knicker-sporting cuddlies? Aliens Love Underpants, what else?
B delighted her audience of one yesterday with an impromptu ditty as follows :
"Knickers dirty on the floor,
Knickers dirty on the ... (looks around) ... wall
Knickers dirty ... (a long pause for inspiration) ... up the CHIMNEY!"
(And an armload of colourful cotton is flung into the air with all of a little girl's might in the general direction of the fireplace.)
Knickers have even been the cause of the latest B. disaster. Chasing her ever-patient (ha!) Mama around the kitchen, thwacking her with a pair of yellow butterfly 100% cottons, she tripped and caught her face on a bench. So many people have remarked on the shiner she's currently sporting 2cm from her eye that I'm expecting a visit from the Mama-police any minute now...
I'll try to be polite when they knock on the door, but while this household continues to be gripped in frillies-frenzy, whatever the social services have to say, the answer will always be...