Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007-2013. Please give credit where credit is due.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Scandal!

A hot day, but fresh all the same. The daily temperature range is about 10° starting in the upper teens.

We were surprised a couple of days ago to receive a visit from a representative of the local health authority carrying what translates as an 'exposé'. For me the word conjures up red headlines from The Sun with a half naked woman on the front page, and lots of monosyllables expressing indignation, horror, shock and ridicule - in bold and italics and sometimes even underlined so that you don't miss them. Lurid goings on in the back rooms of the Houses of Parliament, shocking treatment of bald lesbians, the naked romps of princes of the realm in the back rooms of casinos ... you know the kind of thing. 

So the exposé we were confronted with was rather dull in comparison. Not a single prince's buttock in sight. It was our activities that had been exposed! We were (wait for it, wait for it) keeping sheep. Or perhaps that should be "keeping sheep!" Scandal! Exposed at last! Shock! Horror! They were keeping sheep

Well, your honour, this is hardly the Piazza del Duomo, now is it?

Anyway, our friend from the veterinary service examined Max and Moritz, who were unusually helpful. They didn't stamp on his toes, try to butt him down the hill or snaffle large-denomination banknotes out of his pockets. While they stood to attention, he took a blood sample and pronounced them very healthy, well-fed, being kept in optimum conditions and with all the necessary identification, permissions and paperwork (in triplicate and signed by the Pope). He was perfectly happy about the sheep but pretty pissed off about the absence of naughty goings-on behind the baita

10/10 Phew!

And even Max is smiling (just):



9 comments:

chrysalis said...

Nice to see you back to your brilliant literary style!! Glad your farming passed muster with the local vet!

Louise | Italy said...

Thanks! :-)

ladyfi said...

Too cute. You do weave a good tale! Or should that be tail?

Woodman said...

I won't say what i'm thinking, but its a pity some people don't have anything better to report. I'm still thinking of sending you a couple of long horn steers

ilse said...

May I presume that it is a paprika protruding from under Max's neck and not a horrible vet-overlooked growth? I had visions of fat, cuddly black-faced sheep and not this rather austere-looking, goat-like - and by sounds of it goat-behaving - sheep.

Ilse

Louise | Italy said...

Hi Ilse - I owe you an email...

The paprika is Max's right ear with the sun shining through it... :-)

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post, I really look forward to updates from you.

Christine Gram said...

This makes me smile. So much fun to disappoint an Italian official looking for trouble.

Louise | Italy said...

Ah yes, Christine, but so much more fun to disappoint the person who did the 'exposing' in the first place! :-)

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Scandal!

A hot day, but fresh all the same. The daily temperature range is about 10° starting in the upper teens.

We were surprised a couple of days ago to receive a visit from a representative of the local health authority carrying what translates as an 'exposé'. For me the word conjures up red headlines from The Sun with a half naked woman on the front page, and lots of monosyllables expressing indignation, horror, shock and ridicule - in bold and italics and sometimes even underlined so that you don't miss them. Lurid goings on in the back rooms of the Houses of Parliament, shocking treatment of bald lesbians, the naked romps of princes of the realm in the back rooms of casinos ... you know the kind of thing. 

So the exposé we were confronted with was rather dull in comparison. Not a single prince's buttock in sight. It was our activities that had been exposed! We were (wait for it, wait for it) keeping sheep. Or perhaps that should be "keeping sheep!" Scandal! Exposed at last! Shock! Horror! They were keeping sheep

Well, your honour, this is hardly the Piazza del Duomo, now is it?

Anyway, our friend from the veterinary service examined Max and Moritz, who were unusually helpful. They didn't stamp on his toes, try to butt him down the hill or snaffle large-denomination banknotes out of his pockets. While they stood to attention, he took a blood sample and pronounced them very healthy, well-fed, being kept in optimum conditions and with all the necessary identification, permissions and paperwork (in triplicate and signed by the Pope). He was perfectly happy about the sheep but pretty pissed off about the absence of naughty goings-on behind the baita

10/10 Phew!

And even Max is smiling (just):



9 comments:

chrysalis said...

Nice to see you back to your brilliant literary style!! Glad your farming passed muster with the local vet!

Louise | Italy said...

Thanks! :-)

ladyfi said...

Too cute. You do weave a good tale! Or should that be tail?

Woodman said...

I won't say what i'm thinking, but its a pity some people don't have anything better to report. I'm still thinking of sending you a couple of long horn steers

ilse said...

May I presume that it is a paprika protruding from under Max's neck and not a horrible vet-overlooked growth? I had visions of fat, cuddly black-faced sheep and not this rather austere-looking, goat-like - and by sounds of it goat-behaving - sheep.

Ilse

Louise | Italy said...

Hi Ilse - I owe you an email...

The paprika is Max's right ear with the sun shining through it... :-)

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post, I really look forward to updates from you.

Christine Gram said...

This makes me smile. So much fun to disappoint an Italian official looking for trouble.

Louise | Italy said...

Ah yes, Christine, but so much more fun to disappoint the person who did the 'exposing' in the first place! :-)