Nine am. Breakfast served. Children gone. Dog run. Chicks fed. Wood hauled. Stufa lit. Beds airing. Laundry out, laundry in.
After the early-morning flurry, I confront the post-weekend wreck of the kitchen. Jerry Seinfeld's words come to mind:
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have the top for it."
Oh yeah, Jerry, very funny. Now think one five-year-old and one seven-year-old both armed with watercolours, various fresh fruit, glue, cotton wool, pine cones and glitter. Oh yes, and Swiss army knives. If you can imagine mixing the topless blender with the Sorcerer's Apprentice, then I think you have it about right.
I think I'll go put on my short spotty housewife's dress and high heels and use the vacuum cleaner to murder a couple of spiders...