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Saturday, 7 March 2009

Motherhood means No.11 : Dexterity

Motherhood means ...

... being able to do almost anything that mere mortals can do, but with only one hand. Having carried a baby around on my left arm for the best part of four years now, I've become truly single-handed. While my left arm has muscle tone worthy of a Saddler's Wells performance-art drummer, my right hand has achieved dexterity equalled only by the master watchmakers of Geneva.

With a mere four fingers and one single stubby thumb I can : open a screw-top bottle; squeeze toothpaste onto a toothbrush; write a blog post; fix my specs; dress myself (think about it); change a nappy (non-squirmy baby); iron a city shirt; put in my contact lenses; grate cheese; slice bread; build IKEA furniture (okay, maybe the baby needs to help with the instructions); defend myself from marauding cockerels; change a light bulb (don't try that at home); de-tic a cat; stack and light a woodburning stove; clean up a pile of whatever (let your imagination wander); and, best of all, open and pour a bottle of fizz without losing a drop.

Remembering this is a family show, what can you do with only one hand?

11 comments:

ladyfi said...

Hilarious! Luckily, I can't carry around my kids anymore - blame it on my bad back! - although they would like me to.

What did I do with one hand when the anklebiters were always being carried? Talked on the phone and mixed the formula milk at the same time while preparing lunch...

Nowadays, although I have two hands free, I sometimes feel as if I need eight!

CathM said...

Isn’t it amazing the skills that motherhood teaches you (I still have all that to look forward to (lol))? Well, you’ve captured the true spirit of multi-tasking with one hand...

Dave King said...

I can use it to control the shaking in the other hand.

Debbie said...

What is more impressive is what I can do with half a brain!

Betty said...

It´s actually been so long ago that I have needed to only use one hand, I can´t remember. But this post was really good and so true!

Brenda said...

Sadly, I am out of practice. . .but when those grandkids come. . .

Miss Attica said...

Haha. I've been multitasking with one hand for quite a few years myself... You said it so well I can't add a thing!

karin said...

I can only imagine what you can accomplish with both hands! We can amaze ourselves! Loved the comment about the 'half brain'!

Louise said...

@ Debbie @ Karin
I loved the half-brain comment too. Made me giggle.

GutsyWriter said...

Your arm must be muscular. No need for bicep training. After that are you right or left handed?

Loren Christie said...

Very Funny! I can relate. How do I create a link to you in my post? I see you do that. What can I do with one hand....that you didn't already list here?...not sure. Here's what I can't do with one hand- change a dirty diaper belonging to a wiggly toddler.

Saturday, 7 March 2009

Motherhood means No.11 : Dexterity

Motherhood means ...

... being able to do almost anything that mere mortals can do, but with only one hand. Having carried a baby around on my left arm for the best part of four years now, I've become truly single-handed. While my left arm has muscle tone worthy of a Saddler's Wells performance-art drummer, my right hand has achieved dexterity equalled only by the master watchmakers of Geneva.

With a mere four fingers and one single stubby thumb I can : open a screw-top bottle; squeeze toothpaste onto a toothbrush; write a blog post; fix my specs; dress myself (think about it); change a nappy (non-squirmy baby); iron a city shirt; put in my contact lenses; grate cheese; slice bread; build IKEA furniture (okay, maybe the baby needs to help with the instructions); defend myself from marauding cockerels; change a light bulb (don't try that at home); de-tic a cat; stack and light a woodburning stove; clean up a pile of whatever (let your imagination wander); and, best of all, open and pour a bottle of fizz without losing a drop.

Remembering this is a family show, what can you do with only one hand?

11 comments:

ladyfi said...

Hilarious! Luckily, I can't carry around my kids anymore - blame it on my bad back! - although they would like me to.

What did I do with one hand when the anklebiters were always being carried? Talked on the phone and mixed the formula milk at the same time while preparing lunch...

Nowadays, although I have two hands free, I sometimes feel as if I need eight!

CathM said...

Isn’t it amazing the skills that motherhood teaches you (I still have all that to look forward to (lol))? Well, you’ve captured the true spirit of multi-tasking with one hand...

Dave King said...

I can use it to control the shaking in the other hand.

Debbie said...

What is more impressive is what I can do with half a brain!

Betty said...

It´s actually been so long ago that I have needed to only use one hand, I can´t remember. But this post was really good and so true!

Brenda said...

Sadly, I am out of practice. . .but when those grandkids come. . .

Miss Attica said...

Haha. I've been multitasking with one hand for quite a few years myself... You said it so well I can't add a thing!

karin said...

I can only imagine what you can accomplish with both hands! We can amaze ourselves! Loved the comment about the 'half brain'!

Louise said...

@ Debbie @ Karin
I loved the half-brain comment too. Made me giggle.

GutsyWriter said...

Your arm must be muscular. No need for bicep training. After that are you right or left handed?

Loren Christie said...

Very Funny! I can relate. How do I create a link to you in my post? I see you do that. What can I do with one hand....that you didn't already list here?...not sure. Here's what I can't do with one hand- change a dirty diaper belonging to a wiggly toddler.