Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007-2013. Please give credit where credit is due.

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Empty your pockets!

A cold and frosty morning with pale blue skies.

In my former more ... executive ... life, I frequently complained that business clothes for women, suits in particular, didn't have enough or large enough pockets, and being a boyish kind of girlie, I thought I should be able to do without a handbag. I was a smoker back then, so I needed to conceal about my slim, girlish person various articles, including the cancer sticks themselves (two packs of Marlborough Lights a day, oh yes), a zippo lighter, and an assortment of mints so that I could fool myself that I didn't stink like an ashtray.

Now that I'm a Mama (and the figure isn't so slim and girlish any more), my wardrobe is full of very capacious pockets, and I sometimes wish I didn't have so many. Actually, I wish I didn't have any pockets at all. As I scoot around the house, doing nothing more, it seems to me, than endlessly moving objects from one place to another, I tend to fill those many pockets with small items that need to go somewhere else.


It's a good system.

Except.

Instead of placing said objects in the right places as I go, I most often forget that they're there and I end up with an eclectic, varied and sometimes scary - no, sticky - mix of objects jangling around.

I have just now emptied my many pockets onto the kitchen table, and this is what I found :


-- one glass marble, green-and-red (wrenched from a child's mouth, perhaps only seconds before she swallowed it)
-- one grey plastic mammoth (provenance unknown, likely to have been half-inched from the kindergarten)
-- two screws, one large-ish, one small-ish (picked up from the floor before they could impale a barefoot child)
-- one large rubber band, broken (wrenched from a child's mouth, perhaps only seconds before he choked on it)

-- 91 cents in very small change - in case I get a shot at an espresso-at-the-bar one of these days
-- one brown velvet scrunch, pulled out of the sink overflow
-- one grubby white balloon, deflated
-- one ear plug, used
-- two maggoty, fire-blackened chestnuts
-- one small ball of miscellaneous fluff, blue (perhaps not so miscellaneous after all)
-- one white tissue, unused
-- one whitish tissue, used

-- a handful of diced parmesan rind (peace offering that never made it to the irascible cockerel)
-- one 5ml medicine spoon, sticky
-- one tube of titanium-based nappy-rash ointment, punctured by toddler teeth, oozing

and
-- one scrunched-up photo of Mama 20 years ago, slim and stylish in a Jean Muir suit, to remind her how it felt to have no pockets, but ridiculously enormous shoulder pads.

Now, if you empty your pockets, what would you find?




Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007, 2008. All rights reserved. Please ask first.




14 comments:

L. Venkata Subramaniam said...

My mom still tells everyone stories about all the junk I would collect on my way back from school every afternoon. My pockets would be full of things - funny shaped stones, nuts, ink, etc etc. and if she forgot to remove them before washing, then the shorts would become unusable because of the colour it would pick up from its contents.

Cairo Typ0 said...

I hate pockets and would sew them up in all my clothes and my husband's clothes if i could. Hubby drives me nuts putting things in his trouser pockets and ruining the line of pants.

That said i have a purse problem: i put everything in my cavernous purse. Yesterday i pulled things out of a single pocket and found 200LE, several packets of tissues, used tissues, random pieces of paper and hand sanitiser. I was so happy about the money i never finished emptying out the rest of hte pockets. LOL

LadyFi said...

Oh yes - I can relate to this... especially the wrenching things out of chidren's mouths! I mean, they eat snow, gravel, sand, bits of their hair, LEGO bits, rubber bands, marbles, small cannon balls, sleeves and they have even nibbled holes in my best cushions!! All this can be found in an assortment of pockets - even in my dressing gown pockets - together with old conkers, tissues, fir cones, kilos of old sand, pine needles and broken toys...

mp said...

I have a very large pocket, actually it is a box, in my kitchen. There I put all the things that I don't use (for now, but in the future, who knows). So it is full of coins, tiny toys from "Kinder sorpresa" eggs, rubbers, nails, post-it notes with phone numbers or adresses and so on. When I empty it I feel like an archeologist, discovering an ancient city.

Désirée said...

I actually took a look.
- One pair of mittens for a small child.
- Two chocloate bar papers (I ate the contents myself when nobody was watching med)
- Three "horse-chestnuts" (I think you call them). Smooth and so nice to hold in the hand.
- A pack of tissues, half-full
- One broken hook for something.
- My own gloves

The most funny stuff turns up when an old jacket is brought out :-) Not so this time.

Désirée said...

Gee, when I pressed the comments-link there was zero comments. When I pressed the publish-button four comments had already appeared.

Buddha said...

I am a man. I couldn't live without my pockets. But I keep them very neat and organized.

Joy in the Burbs... said...

When my girls were younger, pockets were a must. I had to have somewhere to keep my keys while I was getting them in and out of carseats, and a place to keep a pacifier close by. When I would purchase clothes if there was no pockets I'd put them back and think what good are those!
I think you win the prize for the most stuff in the pockets.
There's nothing like putting on a jacket of sweater and putting your hand down in the pocket and finding a used tissue. Why couldn't it be a $20.00 bill....

Braja said...

Oh dear...well I never have pockets, that's always my problem. I live in a cashless place, where everything is put on a tab at the store, or if I need a rickshaw and I'm out, I pay him on return, or monthly accounts are paid when the man comes to the door...I just don't carry money. But when I go to Calcutta, afterwards I always find stubs of receipts, business cards from the store (which I actually ask for so I can find them again in the maze of markets, otherwise forget ever seeing that place again), or tissues. Boring, I know...sigh...

BPOTW said...

I'd probably find close to the same thing. Although more food morsels would be found in my pockets. And at the bottom of my purse. And all over the floor boards of the car. And... ugh.

krissy said...

Too funny! I hate the jingle jangle of stuff in my pockets. I try to move stuff from one to the other, too, to try to cut down on the noise. I usually find my things in the dryer, though.

kelly said...

i'm pregnant. pregnant women don't need pockets, haven't you heard?

Louise, Carmine Superiore said...

Congratulations, Kelly - and good luck on your big day!

karin said...

LOL, I did the same thing walking around the house when the kids were little! In my day we wore aprons with pockets exactly for that purpose! Now, everything stays perfectly in place. There's just the two of us - and neither one likes clutter.

Confession time: Not that often, but I loved to contribute to people's pockets. For a while I would sneak a $5 or $10 or $20 into a friend's pocket - just because I knew they needed it. I was good! They never knew and I simply LOVED watching their reaction! What joy!

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Empty your pockets!

A cold and frosty morning with pale blue skies.

In my former more ... executive ... life, I frequently complained that business clothes for women, suits in particular, didn't have enough or large enough pockets, and being a boyish kind of girlie, I thought I should be able to do without a handbag. I was a smoker back then, so I needed to conceal about my slim, girlish person various articles, including the cancer sticks themselves (two packs of Marlborough Lights a day, oh yes), a zippo lighter, and an assortment of mints so that I could fool myself that I didn't stink like an ashtray.

Now that I'm a Mama (and the figure isn't so slim and girlish any more), my wardrobe is full of very capacious pockets, and I sometimes wish I didn't have so many. Actually, I wish I didn't have any pockets at all. As I scoot around the house, doing nothing more, it seems to me, than endlessly moving objects from one place to another, I tend to fill those many pockets with small items that need to go somewhere else.


It's a good system.

Except.

Instead of placing said objects in the right places as I go, I most often forget that they're there and I end up with an eclectic, varied and sometimes scary - no, sticky - mix of objects jangling around.

I have just now emptied my many pockets onto the kitchen table, and this is what I found :


-- one glass marble, green-and-red (wrenched from a child's mouth, perhaps only seconds before she swallowed it)
-- one grey plastic mammoth (provenance unknown, likely to have been half-inched from the kindergarten)
-- two screws, one large-ish, one small-ish (picked up from the floor before they could impale a barefoot child)
-- one large rubber band, broken (wrenched from a child's mouth, perhaps only seconds before he choked on it)

-- 91 cents in very small change - in case I get a shot at an espresso-at-the-bar one of these days
-- one brown velvet scrunch, pulled out of the sink overflow
-- one grubby white balloon, deflated
-- one ear plug, used
-- two maggoty, fire-blackened chestnuts
-- one small ball of miscellaneous fluff, blue (perhaps not so miscellaneous after all)
-- one white tissue, unused
-- one whitish tissue, used

-- a handful of diced parmesan rind (peace offering that never made it to the irascible cockerel)
-- one 5ml medicine spoon, sticky
-- one tube of titanium-based nappy-rash ointment, punctured by toddler teeth, oozing

and
-- one scrunched-up photo of Mama 20 years ago, slim and stylish in a Jean Muir suit, to remind her how it felt to have no pockets, but ridiculously enormous shoulder pads.

Now, if you empty your pockets, what would you find?




Copyright © Louise Bostock 2007, 2008. All rights reserved. Please ask first.




14 comments:

L. Venkata Subramaniam said...

My mom still tells everyone stories about all the junk I would collect on my way back from school every afternoon. My pockets would be full of things - funny shaped stones, nuts, ink, etc etc. and if she forgot to remove them before washing, then the shorts would become unusable because of the colour it would pick up from its contents.

Cairo Typ0 said...

I hate pockets and would sew them up in all my clothes and my husband's clothes if i could. Hubby drives me nuts putting things in his trouser pockets and ruining the line of pants.

That said i have a purse problem: i put everything in my cavernous purse. Yesterday i pulled things out of a single pocket and found 200LE, several packets of tissues, used tissues, random pieces of paper and hand sanitiser. I was so happy about the money i never finished emptying out the rest of hte pockets. LOL

LadyFi said...

Oh yes - I can relate to this... especially the wrenching things out of chidren's mouths! I mean, they eat snow, gravel, sand, bits of their hair, LEGO bits, rubber bands, marbles, small cannon balls, sleeves and they have even nibbled holes in my best cushions!! All this can be found in an assortment of pockets - even in my dressing gown pockets - together with old conkers, tissues, fir cones, kilos of old sand, pine needles and broken toys...

mp said...

I have a very large pocket, actually it is a box, in my kitchen. There I put all the things that I don't use (for now, but in the future, who knows). So it is full of coins, tiny toys from "Kinder sorpresa" eggs, rubbers, nails, post-it notes with phone numbers or adresses and so on. When I empty it I feel like an archeologist, discovering an ancient city.

Désirée said...

I actually took a look.
- One pair of mittens for a small child.
- Two chocloate bar papers (I ate the contents myself when nobody was watching med)
- Three "horse-chestnuts" (I think you call them). Smooth and so nice to hold in the hand.
- A pack of tissues, half-full
- One broken hook for something.
- My own gloves

The most funny stuff turns up when an old jacket is brought out :-) Not so this time.

Désirée said...

Gee, when I pressed the comments-link there was zero comments. When I pressed the publish-button four comments had already appeared.

Buddha said...

I am a man. I couldn't live without my pockets. But I keep them very neat and organized.

Joy in the Burbs... said...

When my girls were younger, pockets were a must. I had to have somewhere to keep my keys while I was getting them in and out of carseats, and a place to keep a pacifier close by. When I would purchase clothes if there was no pockets I'd put them back and think what good are those!
I think you win the prize for the most stuff in the pockets.
There's nothing like putting on a jacket of sweater and putting your hand down in the pocket and finding a used tissue. Why couldn't it be a $20.00 bill....

Braja said...

Oh dear...well I never have pockets, that's always my problem. I live in a cashless place, where everything is put on a tab at the store, or if I need a rickshaw and I'm out, I pay him on return, or monthly accounts are paid when the man comes to the door...I just don't carry money. But when I go to Calcutta, afterwards I always find stubs of receipts, business cards from the store (which I actually ask for so I can find them again in the maze of markets, otherwise forget ever seeing that place again), or tissues. Boring, I know...sigh...

BPOTW said...

I'd probably find close to the same thing. Although more food morsels would be found in my pockets. And at the bottom of my purse. And all over the floor boards of the car. And... ugh.

krissy said...

Too funny! I hate the jingle jangle of stuff in my pockets. I try to move stuff from one to the other, too, to try to cut down on the noise. I usually find my things in the dryer, though.

kelly said...

i'm pregnant. pregnant women don't need pockets, haven't you heard?

Louise, Carmine Superiore said...

Congratulations, Kelly - and good luck on your big day!

karin said...

LOL, I did the same thing walking around the house when the kids were little! In my day we wore aprons with pockets exactly for that purpose! Now, everything stays perfectly in place. There's just the two of us - and neither one likes clutter.

Confession time: Not that often, but I loved to contribute to people's pockets. For a while I would sneak a $5 or $10 or $20 into a friend's pocket - just because I knew they needed it. I was good! They never knew and I simply LOVED watching their reaction! What joy!