After a week of empirical study in which B spent most of her time either crying or biting me in a rage, here are some tips on what to do when trying to stop breast-feeding your 1 year + .
Go cold turkey; then you can experience one last time that wonderful hyper-engorged feeling
Wait until she has a cough so that her throat’s like sandpaper; then she’ll be too preoccupied with rejecting cough mixture to worry that she’s no longer being fed
Do it when her gums look like the Dolomites with new molars making their presence felt; you’ll be able to check teething progress every time she yells for the breast
Take a bus journey of 30 minutes or more at what would have been feeding time; her screaming will drown out the dross technopop they play, and the other passengers will have someone to stare at
Wait until you have house-guests and you can spread the nighttime no-sleep misery even further.
Make sure you can tick each point for a truly unforgettable breast-feeding cessation experience.